Those unexpected blessings.
The daily diary | March 20th, 2024
Frugality is a concept for my generation (us Z’sssss….) that just doesn’t land. We watched our parents and grandparents duke it out with the budget and didn’t want to play the same game. But rebellion has a way of imprisoning us for the same thing we saw, didn’t like, and often didn’t understand.
I never thought to ask my parents: why do you save like you do? Why do you honor the budget, be frugal, or skip the outings and have them be occasional exceptions? Why?
To me, it always seemed like a limit.
And limits were bad, right?
I’m learning something new.
In the past several months, I have become more and more aware of the connection that money and noise have to each other. How we spend money is a perfect mirror for what matters most to us and what we don’t want to feel. What we love will be reflected clearly in how we spend our resources. What we hate and don’t want to feel or experience will also be reflected in how much of our resources are spent avoiding those things.
Hence anxiety, depression, and stress. Think about your financial stress as of late. Is it because you haven’t reached your goal yet? Or the fear that you never will, the repercussions of imagining what would happen if you didn’t make that money, get that time off, miss out on that opportunity…
What happens when we don’t hit the target?
My money patterns? Anxious avoidant.
The times I spend the most self-consumed, self-absorbed, and self-loathing are the times I feel anxious. And anxiety comes from doubt. When you feel anxious it’s because you are questioning what will happen in the future. Spiritually, this is such a rich awareness, because that only shows us that we doubt the Creator of the Universe and His perfect hand and pre-designed direction of our lives. That seems like such a MASSIVE, out-there kind of idea. That God is orchestrating it all. And yet, mostly, the moments I get stuck are the moments I am actively PUSHING that truth OUT-THERE.
The more we distance ourselves from God’s sovereignty and providence in our lives, the quicker anxiousness, doubt, pride, controlling, and avoidant tendencies seem to consume our resources (time, money, energy, memory, etc…)
Anxiety turns into avoidance. When you feel the pressure of an unsteady future, you’re going to numb out: either by over-controlling or over-avoiding.
And, this is uber helpful to notice and be aware of. Because then, we can STOP. And ask God: help me have the courage to face this and not avoid it. Help me be honest with myself and choose my priorities wisely. Help me know and walk in the way You want me to go.
This has been my prayer as of late and it’s changing everything.
Yesterday, I caught myself having FUN being thoughtful and conservative about what I spend my money, time, and resources on. I caught myself having fun co-creating with my parents, talking through business ideas and new opportunities. I caught myself spending more time enjoying life, being peaceful and grounded than stressing about work. And so, I wonder. Is focusing so hard on the outcome we want…is that really the solution? ‘Cuz I’ve played that game for the last several years.
My Dad always says: play the game, work within the rules, be creative, be innovative. There are lots of possibilities when you can play by the rules unconventionally.
In other words, play SMART.
So, what I’m learning today? Have fun, play smart, stop avoiding, God’s got perfect plans.
